


Fun with Milt

by PattRose



Category: Battle Creek (TV)
Genre: Friendship, Humor, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-24
Updated: 2015-06-24
Packaged: 2018-04-05 21:18:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,227
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4195242
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PattRose/pseuds/PattRose
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Milt and Russ are having everyone over for a friendly game of poker.  Leave it to Milt to take it to the next level.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Fun with Milt

Fun with Milt  
By PattRose  
Summary: Milt and Russ are having everyone over for a friendly game of poker. Leave it to Milt to take it to the next level. 

 

 

It was a late Saturday night and everyone from the bullpen was over at Russ’s for poker night. They had all had way too many beers and food and were just feeling really happy with life. 

It all came to a screeching halt when Milt had to start asking questions. 

“Hey everybody, what would you do if you saw a werewolf?” Milt asked seriously. 

Erin was the first one to reply and said, “I would run like hell and scream too. I have a really good set of lungs.”

Aaron started to laugh and said, “You can’t outrun a werewolf, don’t you know that? And it’s sort of like foreplay with them, if you try.”

Everyone laughed at Aaron’s reasoning and Milt didn’t let it deter him one bit. 

“What would you do, Kim?”

Kim smiled at her newest member of the team and answered, “I would shoot him. I carry silver bullets just for that reason.”

Milt got excited as he asked, “Are you serious?”

“Are you nuts? Of course I don’t have silver bullets. There is no such thing as a werewolf,” Kim bellowed. 

“The question is if there were such a thing, what would you do if you encountered one?” Milt asked again. 

Fontanelle smiled and said, “I think that everyone would turn tail and run like mad, whether it would be the right thing to do or not. You know it would get your ass as soon as you turned your back on it.”

“I agree, Fontanelle. I think that you should never trust it enough to turn your back on it. Stare it in the eyeballs and see where that takes you,” Milt suggested. 

Niblet laughed out loud and said, “Milt, where in the world did this come from?”

“I don’t know where they come from, Niblet. I really haven’t done much research on them at all,” Milt teased. 

“Seriously, I think it would be sad. Did you all see The American Werewolf in London? He was so sad when he realized what happened and what he would become,” Niblet said. 

“I can’t believe we’re talking about this shit,” Kim barked. 

Erin laughed and said, “I think that it’s interesting. Milt told me that he and Russ had a discussion somewhat like this about vampires.”

Russ looked at Milt and asked, “You told her about what I said?”

“No, I never said what we talked about, just that we had discussed vampires. Don’t worry man, your secret is safe with me,” Milt said happily. 

“Now you have us all wondering what was said about vampires?” Kim stated. 

“It’s no one’s business. Now back to the werewolf discussion. Where do you suppose that story came from?” Russ asked, trying to get everyone off the vampire story. 

Milt said, “Pick me, pick me.”

“Do you know the answer, Milt?” Russ asked laughing. 

“Lycanthropy comes from the Greek lykoi, "wolf" and anthropos, "man" and the legends lived on from many, many cultures. Stories of shape shifters that men became wolves started big time with the Native American Indian's. That’s how the legend started,” Milt explained. 

“But why did they have to be so vicious?” Erin wondered aloud. 

“Wolves aren’t friendly for the most part. They’re loners and don’t want to be around humans at all. So it makes sense that if you shape shifted into a wolf, you wouldn’t like humans,” Milt remarked. 

Kim shouted, “Enough of werewolf talk, let’s get back to the game. I’m actually winning this hand instead of the mighty Chamberlain.”

Everyone laughed and again started to play poker. It wasn’t too long and the subject was brought up again. 

Fontanelle folded and said, “I believe I would probably run and get my ass chewed off. I mean, I’m not scared of too much, but seeing a living breathing werewolf would scare the snot right out of me.”

Kim barked, “Is anyone playing this stupid hand?”

“I thought you were winning ole mighty one,” Milt teased. 

“I am winning so far. Are you going to ante up or not?” Kim dared Milt to do it. 

Milt folded and Kim scooped in her winnings. She smiled and said, “Now I would just ask the werewolf to sit down to a friendly game of poker and see who wins.”

Niblet laughed and said, “I don’t think werewolves listen to reason, Kim.”

“Niblet, I don’t know how to tell you this, but there is no such thing as werewolves,” Kim snapped. 

“Just keep in mind that you don’t want to run. Anyone who has ever run in the movies always gets eaten first,” Niblet said. 

“For Christ’s sakes, they’re movies, it’s not real,” Kim said disgustedly. 

Milt said, “We’re just having a friendly discussion about it. There is nothing to worry about Kim. No wolf in his right mind would go after you.”

Everyone laughed once more, except Kim. She didn’t think it was that funny. 

Erin looked over at Russ and said, “Hey Russ, why aren’t you getting into this conversation?”

“Because I think it’s stupid, that’s why,” Russ said. 

Kim shuffled the cards and said, “Is anyone going to play this hand, or are we still discussing werewolves?”

Fontanelle said, “I think it’s a good discussion and we should continue it for a while.”

Aaron said, “God, now I’m going to be scared of dogs.”

Fontanelle laughed and said, “I’ll keep you safe, Aaron. Don’t you worry about a thing. We’ll go and buy some silver bullets.”

Aaron just rolled his eyes and said, “That’s okay. Chances of ever running into one are slim to none. Besides I watch the dog whisperer and know how to talk to canines.”

This time even Kim laughed and before long, they all were. 

Russ finally said, “I don’t believe in them. I do think that Native American’s once believed in shape shifters, but no longer. It’s hard to believe in something that has been made fun of in the movies.”

“I agree with Russ on that,” Niblet said. 

“Russ, tell us about the other night and discussing vampires,” Conner teased. 

“It’s none of your business, Erin. Milt, I’m going to kick your sweet ass when everyone leaves,” Russ stated. 

“It’s time for me to go. I’ve got to call a cab, I had way too much fun tonight,” Kim said as she got up to phone the taxi service. 

“I’ll take everyone home, I didn’t have a drink tonight,” Erin said. 

“Okay, that would be great,” Fontanelle said. 

“I second that,” Aaron said laughing. 

They all got ready to go and hugged Russ and Milt for the lovely evening and out the door they went. 

Russ and Milt made haste to clean up the mess that was left behind and then retired for the evening. 

Once they were in bed Milt said, “So what do you really think about werewolves?”

Russ started to laugh and began to kiss his lover with much need. “It’s time for fooling around, not talking about something that doesn’t even exist.”

“Oh all right, the things you make me do,” Milt teased. 

They began their usual dance of love and didn’t ask each other any questions after that. 

The end


End file.
